I was in pain when I was woken up by the nurse, the stitches in my stomach felt like red hot splinters, the analgesic was wearing off I guessed. I didn’t realise what time it was or how long it had been after the surgery. The nurse emerged again this time carrying something in her arms, I couldn’t see well as I didn’t have my glasses on. She neared to my bed and lowered her hands and said, “Mrs. Bose, your daughter”. I could see the bundle now, there she was, my daughter. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life; she was sleeping peacefully in the arms of the nurse. My pain faded away as I gazed into her face. “My daughter” I whispered to myself, almost half surprised. The nurse moved back with her and told me to rest. All I wanted was to hold her and feel her, but she left with the nurse, the pain of seeing her go was hundred times more than the stitches. Another nurse approached and pushed some injection and I drifted back to sleep.
Next day when she was given to me I still couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have her in my arms. I whispered to her, ‘hello am your ma’, she just yawned back at me. I was experiencing a new love, an emotion that was so strong that I had never felt before, an urge to protect her, love her, hold her, to see her happy. The days in the hospital passed away in frenzy. It was time to take her home. As I went down in the elevator with her in my arms and Suman by my side I felt complete. The proud look on Suman’s face made me feel so happy.
Yesterday she turned a month old; she still makes my heart melt every time I hold her, feed her, play with her. Last night while I was feeding her she fell asleep, so I tried to move her from my lap to her cot, she immediately grabbed my finger with her tiny little hand. She didn’t let go for a long time, so I let her sleep in my lap. As I gazed into her sleeping face, I realised yes it is a new form of love I am experiencing. Thank you God for making me fall in love once more.
Love you always – my beautiful daughter – Ahana…..